Dear ========

Dear ========,

I saw him again, maybe I’m crazy but its ok, I’d guess. I’d thought I’ve got over it and everything just invisible again. For almost 2years, I’d tried not crying on my bed at night. And I did it. The best thing just happened. Until the other night, I don’t really remember why all suddenly I dreamt of HIM. Really weird and awkward. Next morning, I was wondering “why Must Be HIM?”, I’ve tried to ignore it but it kept coming to me, smiling face, grab my hand, holding tight, like it never happens before.
The 2nd night, thing getting worst after all, I don’t know what happen anymore, he keeps coming in my dream like interrupter. I was curious about him, what happened actually??? I didn’t get any dream of HIM since a long time ago…
I just speechless and my instinct seem not OK for the whole week. I’ve told my mom about these 2 dreams, and she also speechless and smiling. Super-weird! Is that a sign from God? Or just…..
On Sunday’s night, I watched “Shakespeare in Love”. It’s just a beautiful movie. The emotional thing getting flow in my veins and I have no idea how to stop it. The movie is OVER and it’s really messed up with my feeling and my memories. It’s so damn HURT! Until I realized I was crying again on my bed. Thank God, mom didn’t say anything about it.
I really need some helps for me to get over it again n again, whether good or bad, I have to, because it’s the only way I have, also, he’s not coming back. Never. Maybe his “ghost” will be always appears in my dreams, not the real physically HIM, so just move on without any stupid thought.
It was weird and awkward when he suddenly appeared in my dreams, because I just need to tell HIM, “U’re no longer MINE, what r u doing in my dream? U hates me so much, don’t you?” after awhile, I’d get off from my bed and the only words inspired me “that’s LIFE, Bella. Just LIVE IT! MOVE ON without hesitate.”

Thank you,

Love,

Bella Samsol


4 thoughts on “Dear ========

  1. I think we’ve all been there — a love that we want to let go but won’t let go of us. Unfortunately, it’s a cliche and painfully true, but you will dream less of HIM as time passes. Healing is a beautiful thing to experience…in hindsight…usually ten years later.

  2. i have no idea how to survive with HIM in my stupid head. its really kinda annoying. meantime, i’m sort of envy him bcz he could handled it easily. but sometimes, when i reads him post on FB or MSN, sound like he also suffers from this feeling and emotional. i cant just blame anybody, but this thing start with his family.

  3. Pick on a memory, when you realised that you would not be able to have him. Pick on a memory of him callous towards you, or dismissive. Think on these memories when you think of him. Make them your most important about him. It helps.

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